Food for thought

Published: Monday, September 28, 1998

Monday, September 28, 1998

Food for thought

FOOD: ASUCLA provides

a variety of delectable - and detestable - eating options

By Louise Chu

Daily Bruin Staff

A civil war of sorts has broken out on the food courts of UCLA. North vs. South, Kerckhoff vs. Northern Lights, Kikka vs. Jimmy ... Everyone take cover in the Bombshelter!

The competition among the Associated Students of UCLA (ASUCLA) restaurants is not one for the big bucks - the money will all eventually go to the same hole in the wall. Rather, this is a battle for honor, integrity and more work for the unfortunate employees of the No. 1 pick; this is the battle for The Best ASUCLA Restaurant on Campus.

Italian Food

The beloved Pasta Resistance in the demolished Treehouse is now just another statistic. This leaves Coop Pizza (Cooperage), Pizza Paparazzo (North Campus Student Center) and the shrewdly named Italian Cuisine (Lu Valle Commons) to cater to students' pepperoni pizza and spinach lasagna cravings.

The crust unfresh and pasty, the cheese rubbery, the tomato sauce thin and bland, ASUCLA pizza provides an eerie reminder of why sack lunches were requisite in high school cafeterias. As the best of the worst, Coop Pizza manages to approach mediocrity the closest with sub-par "regular" pizzas but appealing "extreme" versions, which have a flavorful abundance of toppings.

Pizza Paparazzo competes well with its hearty portions of lasagna, but the glut of pasta and shortage of vegetable or meat filling keeps it a close second to Italian Cuisine.

Asian Food

The culinary cesspool of quality Asian food that is Westwood finds its roots in ASUCLA's feeble imitations of Panda Express. Despite their shortcomings (and there are many), rice bowls have become a staple of the school day - portable, inexpensive and reasonably filling.

Bruin Wok (North Campus) and Asian Cuisine (Lu Valle) are in a heated duel for the worst Asian food - possibly even the worst food - on campus. The victor would weigh heavily on diners' greater disgust for the water-thin sauces and sand-dry chicken of Bruin Wok or the unsettling addition of fat-encrusted chicken skin dangling off each chunk of meat in rice bowls from Asian Cuisine.

Bombshelter Deli's unnamed nook maintains the most promising interpretation of the white rice, vegetable and chicken concoction by cleverly avoiding the pitfalls of its competitors. With chicken chunks equally as dry as the other two restaurants, the South Campus fixture mashes its chicken into shreds and drenches it in the teriyaki-flavored sauce, providing the tastiest rice bowl of the three.

The most interesting Asian culinary option on campus also belongs to the Bombshelter. In a cozy little niche across from the rice bowls, Pacific Rice & Noodle Traders offers an eclectic selection of pseudo-Asian delights, including jerk chicken (since when did Jamaica move to the Pacific?) over udon noodles and chicken marinara (whoa, geography lessons galore!). Those stranded on campus will find relief here from the banality of burgers and pizza.

Burgers

A beef patty, a bun sliced horizontally in half, lettuce, tomatoes, a pickle chip or two ... The assembly of this American classic seems simple enough, yet it has been mastered by few. ASUCLA restaurants present strong efforts and manage to satisfy midday In-N-Out appetites with a burger joint for each corner of campus.

The Roadside Grill mini-franchise, located in Lu Valle, Bombshelter and Cooperage, offers a creative menu from the Chicken Club (grilled chicken breast, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, Swiss cheese, bacon, sprouts) to the San Francisco Burger (quarter-pound beef patty, Swiss cheese, teriyaki sauce, sauteed mushrooms), each item sold a la carte or with spicy or regular fries. Omnivores will delight in the juicy, savory hamburgers and chicken sandwiches, but disappointment looms for the vegetarian.

Although flexibility in the menu allows patrons to substitute any meat with a vegetarian patty, the result is a dry, overcooked, poorly seasoned slab of grains and vegetable protein. Best Burgers On Campus, concisely labeled BBOC (North Campus), does not necessarily live up to its name, but it produces the tastiest version of the veggie burger with a more tender and flavorful patty.

Mexican Food

Farewell, De Nuevo (Cooperage). UCLA will miss your rancid guacamole and questionable enchiladas. May your successor, Pure Chicken Heaven, serve patrons with healthier, more palatable dishes.

With the void left by De Nuevo's demise, Holy Mole (North Campus) must bear the entire burden of supplying the campus' demands for burritos and tostada salads. It's a void that's better left unfilled.

The sole ASUCLA Mexican food option (aside from the national franchise Taco Bell in Campus Corner) serves a limited variety of dishes, highlighted by an adequate tostada salad. It is difficult to ruin a simple salad, but Holy Mole's stale, under-fried shell proves that there is a way.

Students who have an extended lunch may enjoy a hot barbeque, semi-Mexican style. Located in front of North Campus Student Center and at the back of Bombshelter, the outdoor grills cook up a lip-smacking barbequed chicken with a California-Mexican flair. The generous portions of tortilla chips and beans contribute to a full belly by the end of the lunch hour.

Sandwiches

This popular American lunch staple is featured in a whopping six restaurants, each incarnation taking different twists and turns with the old bread-turkey-mustard standby. By far the most outstanding - and most expensive - version is Grab 'N Go Gourmet, located in both North Campus and Bombshelter. Their panini-style sandwiches include the interesting addition of such ingredients as avocado, bacon and pesto. But weight-watchers should look elsewhere for lighter fare.

Bombshelter's deli and Delitos (Lu Valle) offer a competent array of sandwich components to fill anyone's made-to-order needs. The result is standard and forgettable. ASUCLA's other mini-franchise, Sub Section (Lu Valle and Campus Corner), display starkly different products in its two locations. While stale bread and limp lettuce grace the Lu Valle site, Campus Corner's new addition compiles attractive, generously portioned subs that would overwhelm any hungry student on a meager budget. Perhaps the difference is because the fledgling restaurant is just off to a flying start. Either way, diners should milk it while it lasts.

Soup and salad

The delicate balance of broth, chunks of vegetable or meat and spices is a precarious one in a good bowl of soup. Often this ideal lunch item is tucked away in the corners of campus eateries as a secondary thought. And it often tastes like one.

Soup in Cafe Alfresco (Cooperage) and Lu Valle are fine for those who revel in Campbell's flair. But for those who crave a hearty bowl that is worth passing up the burgers and sandwiches that dominate the space, Kerckhoff Coffeehouse provides a delicious cream of broccoli, especially when served in a bread boule. The thick, well-seasoned chicken cream envelopes each bite-size cut of broccoli. The bread boule initially appears too small for the $3-plus spent for the meal, but it soon becomes clear that the size is perfect for dipping. Any more would overkill the effects of the creamy soup.

A great complement for soup would be a crisp salad. Luckily, the best salad can be found in the next building. The Salad Shuffle's (Cooperage) 90-item salad bar has virtually every imaginable item to top a bare plate of lettuce, spinach or mixed greens. Salad-lovers should flock to the Coop's best vegan option. That is, unless a fly or two on the buffet would bother them. While the salad bar is well-kept during peak hours, an unappetizing abundance of flies plague the unattended area later in the day. Lunchers, be sure to stop here before you ascend to Kerckhoff.

Coffee, desserts and pastries

It's a debate that's been long posed by coffee gourmets. The lifeblood of late-night crammers, the jumpstart for foolish 8 a.m. students, coffee is at the center of a heated controversy. Where can you get the best cup o' jo?

Alas, the debate is in vain, as all coffee flows from the same source of beans, but distinct differences among the java houses allow a clear winner.

Jimmy's (Lu Valle) caters to a diverse range of thirsts, from Thai iced coffee to ice-blended mochas. Jimmy brews a smooth cup of house coffee, but the not-quite-right taste of the more complicated drinks can only be explained by incompetent recipes. The ice-blended mochas taste like a chalky carob shake, and Jimmy's Thai iced coffee is not worthy of the culture's reputation for a delicious iced drink.

Kerckhoff Coffeehouse is the campus landmark and ideal study lounge. Whatever its appeal, its distinction does not lie in great coffee. Often burnt or hours old, the quality of its brews fluctuates from worker to worker. However, Kerckhoff compensates for its coffee mishaps by having a mouth-watering variety of baked goods and desserts, something the others lack. Here, patrons can find cannolis, fruit tarts and cheese bagels to quell hunger pangs until the next meal.

Of the three coffeehouses, Northern Lights offers the most limited selection, but perhaps concentration on the basics allows them to hone their coffee skills in an aromatic house brew, a fresh cappuccino and a digestible Cappuccino Royale.

The Rest

These culinary misfits do not qualify in any specific category, but don't be quick to ostracize the labelly challenged.

Crunch Time's deep-fried smorgasbord treats the taste buds to guilty - but finger-, fork- and plate-licking - pleasure.

Pure Chicken Heaven (PCH) rises to fill De Nuevo's shoes, even bursting its stale seams. Fried, roasted, baked, grilled - PCH is a heaven of poultry delights, although not as much can be said for actual taste or volume. Despite a well-accompanying relish and mouth-watering specials, an unattractive, insipid Original Recipe bird and unfulfilling portions hinder the service line from achieving the pinnacle of ASUCLA honors.

The Best

Health nuts, beware. Amidst the stirring controversy with the arrival of another artery-clogging fry hole, Crunch Time emerges as the best ASUCLA restaurant. Although the deep-fried goodies need better oil drainage, the menu's flexibility, the mind-boggling options and the items' fresh, crispy texture win Crunch Time the sought-after title.

Rarely in a similar restaurant can diners completely assemble their own lunch combinations. Chicken strips or chicken wings? Mozzarella or zucchini sticks? Catalina Cocktail sauce or Jalapeno Cheddar? Or why not have it all with the Mega-Munch Combo for only $4.60?

Subsequently, Crunch Time's culinary excellence gives Cooperage an extra boost to snag the final victory: The Best ASUCLA eatery.

Ultimately, the real competition among ASUCLA restaurants is not defined by savory cuts of meat or aromatic blends of coffee. The true test is in how well diners can stomach their meal (or whether they can at all).

The occasional gems show that the art of cuisine is not dead in the hills of Westwood. Crunch Time, Northern Lights, Coop Pizza, to the victors go the spoils ... (if it isn't spoiled already).

CHARLES KUO

A tostada from Holy Mole and a two-item combo with citrus chicken and Kung Pao chicken from Bruin Wok are two choices for on-campus meals. Both restaurants are located in North Campus.

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