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After seeing two guys bulldoze an old lady to get to the alcohol at Ralphs last week, it dawned on us that the meaning of “polite” has been lost on our generation.

Even though nobody needs to be knights in shining armor or Stepford wives, we still need to keep our manners while in the alcohol aisle and, just as importantly, in the bedroom.

Over two dozen students we interviewed told us that guys and girls alike are being inconsiderate of one another, and everyone had grievances. To clarify that this isn’t just a one-sided rant against men, we did an equal number of interviews with both sexes, but the responses we got from the girls were more varied than the men – who pretty much all disliked the same thing.

To begin, let’s talk about the widespread game of “blow job tug-of-war.” Most women have experienced this head-pushing game where men literally force their partner’s head down to get what they want. Women do not need directions – we’ll find our way if that is where we’re going.

On top of the pushing, pleading for fellatio after she declines is a turnoff, and – let’s face it – you’ll become a cautionary tale she’ll repeat to all of her hot friends. Instead of roughly demanding this favor, either ask nicely or set a good example for what you’d like. Don’t let your horny expectations overcome your respect for the person you’re with.

Men had complaints, too, mostly about women not finishing or stopping in the middle of what they had started. To be blunt, guys don’t appreciate when a girl begins to fool around but leaves the man hanging (or rather, the opposite) with no finale or hope in sight.

“Blueballs are real, and it hurts. Feel the pain,” said Chris Bald, a second-year business-economics student and self-proclaimed “sexual studies minor.” Most guys agreed that if a girl has “jizz-phobia,” the very least they could do was politely contribute a helping hand at the end.

Contraceptives were another common topic. According to the Planned Parenthood Web site, women are currently nearly as likely as men to buy and carry condoms. Furthermore, the National Women’s Health Resource Center published statistics online showing that 18 million American women currently use some type of birth control pill, up from 10.4 million in 1995.

This eagerness to protect ourselves is great, but unfortunately, it seems women are now expected to buy and supply condoms and take the pill. In many cases, the women we spoke with mentioned the many times they had been expected to bring protection as an alternative to the man leaving to borrow one. Come on guys, it’s your penis, and it’s rude to assume we’re going to pay for all of the contraceptives.

And while we’re on the money issue, guys are tired of being expected to pay for every date beyond the initial few. While guys weren’t against paying for the first dinner, all college students are poor, and we need to help each other out. Maybe in the sex utopia land where we all compromise, women can take their men out more often and guys can pitch in for condoms.

Beyond the in-the-act complaints, many women interviewed wanted the conventional and even stereotypical cuddling afterward (or at least hanging out for a little while).

“It’s not cool if you leave immediately afterward. There just needs to be a chill-out period,” said Chanel Smith, a third-year molecular, cellular and developmental biology student.

Something simple that both sexes are guilty of is using electronics in the bedroom, and not the ones your dirty mind just thought of. We rudely answer cell phones and watch our favorite TV program instead of devoting our complete attention to our partners and the fun at hand.

Our fast-paced society has made it easy to forget that other people have preferences, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves to care about someone other than ourselves. It’s easy to forget the well-mannered lyrics of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” when we’ve got Snoop Dogg’s “Ain’t no Fun” playing on our iPods.

The bottom line is that we all need to be more considerate of each other, in and out of the bedroom. Be polite to people you care about, or who you care about getting busy with. Speak up when something bothers you and vocalize what it is you want.

In the end, everyone should value themselves enough to know they deserve respect, cordial treatment in bed and, above all, not to be shoved at Ralphs. Kick some ass, grandma – you deserve it.

If you want us to take you out to dinner, e-mail us at ncarey@media.ucla.edu and agrinstead@media.ucla.edu.