• printer friendly
• mail this article
• iPod format
• digg

Photo

Kelly “gets what she wants” for her birthday by going shoe shopping in the video segm

1. “Live! Turtle Rape” link

The best viral video of the year was a love story. This heated romance starts off a little slow, but when the male turtle starts head-butting his mate Zidane-style, this shell-covered soft-core takes a turn for the awesome. Most quotable line: “ENNNNHHHHH!”

2. “The Juggernaut Bitch” link

“The Juggernaut Bitch” (and its sequel, “J2: Juggment Day”) accomplished a lot this year. What started out as a bunch of dudes doing voice-overs on old episodes of the “X-Men” animated series became a cultural phenomenon that landed its unforgettable catchphrase – “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” – in “X-Men 3: The Last Stand.” It also made us laugh even more than Borat. Most quotable line: “CHARLES, NOOOOOO!”

3. “UCLA Student Tasered by Police in Library” link

The video that launched a thousand Facebook groups. This is why YouTube was invented: so a UCLA student with a camera phone could shakily videotape another student getting zapped by a Taser but somehow manage to miss the really important stuff at the beginning. Most quotable line: “Here’s your Patriot Act, here’s your ... abuse of power!”

4. “Seinfeld’s Kramer (Michael Richards) Racist Tirade” link

The Taser video was one of the most popular on the Web until this one showed up online, featuring former “Seinfeld” star Michael Richards going off with racial slurs at the Laugh Factory. The follow-up video of him apologizing live on “The Late Show with David Letterman” is one of the saddest, most awkward moments ever recorded. Most quotable line: “50 years ago, we’d have you upside down with a ... fork up your ass!”

5. “Kelly – Shoes” link

Kelly, the blond, female alter-ego of comedian Liam Sullivan, goes on a quest for the perfect pair of shoes in a music video set to an electroclash beat. You kind of have to see it to believe it. Most quotable line: “Ohmigod, shoes!”

Honorable Mention: “Star Wars Holiday Special” link

This video – too surreal and ridiculous to rank – was actually made for TV in the ’70s by a cash-strapped George Lucas. The opening sequence is six minutes of Chewbacca’s family talking to each other – IN WOOKIE. Most quotable line: “ENNNNHHHHH!”

– David Greenwald