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Girlfriends are a hassle. That’s right, and while we are at it let’s not forget that boyfriends aren’t always a walk in the park either.

But sooner or later, we all decide to sacrifice our own little fortress of solitude at the altar of intimacy. Because finding someone who is willing to put up with all your little idiosyncrasies is sometimes all you need to make putting up with their faults worthwhile.

So you do it. You take the plunge headfirst into the whirlpool that is a relationship. And you know what? Often, you like where you end up.

So we make the trade. We give up the various luxuries of independence for the comfort of having someone who actually finds our neuroses endearing. Sure, you can’t bring home that hottie who’s been flirting with you at the bar for a cheap night of thrilling surprises and delights. But that’s all right, because you’ve already got someone waiting for you, someone who you can be sure looks good with or without beer goggles.

That, my friends, is the trade we all make sooner or later. At least most of us do. But apparently there are more than a few people out there who are convinced that they can have their cake and eat it too.

And c’mon, who doesn’t want to have their cake and eat it too? But unfortunately that is just not the way things work in this society. Because if that were the case, cigarettes would be good for you, eating french fries would burn calories and pints of beer would be eternally bottomless. But as I am reminded on a daily basis, that is simply not the way things go. Instead, we have been taught since a young age to weigh options and make logical and responsible decisions – to choose to eat our peas or forego dessert, to clean our rooms or have our cartoon privileges revoked, to make it home by curfew or be grounded from the winter formal (actually, maybe that wasn’t so bad).

So what about those cake-gobbling fiends I was alluding to earlier? You know, the people who think they deserve the amenities of having someone to stuff and mount on their wall of commitment, without having to forsake their love of the hunt. These are the people who are doing their best to shatter yet another childhood delusion that I once held so dear – that only marriage meant committing yourself and your life to one (and only one) person, for better or for worse, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Oh, but you’re not married yet, right? There ain’t no ring on your finger. You’re still young, and you would be cheating yourself if you didn’t at least explore the other options that present themselves in tube tops and capri pants. I mean, you could miss out on some great experiences. You are only in college once and what better time is there to embark on a journey of frequent and anonymous sexual conquests? How do you know you’ve got the best guy on the team if you don’t give each player at least one turn at bat? But when you do finally wake up one morning and find that someone slipped a ring onto that finger, you’ll settle down and relinquish your wild ways.

Fine, if you think you’ll be able to make that transition, you have my blessing. But consider for at least a moment that there probably isn’t a husband or wife out there who didn’t stand at that altar with a heart full of hope and a head full of lofty promises and virtuous intentions. I promise you, temptation does not vanish simply because you mumble the words “I do.” Your life will always be lined with tantalizing mirages that threaten to lead you astray, and seductive potholes to trip you up and make you falter.

But people have navigated safely through, by making a choice and sticking to it, as tough as that may be at times.

And the fact is, practice makes perfect. Whether or not the person you are currently with is someone you could envision yourself actually marrying, you are still in a relationship. On some level, that relationship is like practicing for the big game, the final game, the championship. So if you can’t make it to the end zone in practice without stepping out of bounds a few times, how do you know you’ll be able to do any better when it really counts?

But I’m jumping ahead, right? Because we’re still young. There is no reason you shouldn’t be able to the play the field for a while if that is what you so desire. And as far as I am concerned, you have every right to pursue that lifestyle and I will be the last one to look down on you for it. But all I ask of you is to have the integrity to make that choice and respect the parameters that come along with it. I have a problem with those people who try to play the field, yet are afraid to walk out the door unless they are sure that there is someone waiting at home to remind them that they are loved.

So this is my request of you, in the name of marriage, loyalty and fidelity: I implore you to make a choice. If you can’t commit fully to someone, have the courage to be alone. The person you may currently be in a relationship with deserves at least that much. Sure, you could hide behind the whole “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” defense, but c’mon – who are you kidding? If you truly do love the person you are with, you owe them more than that sad cop-out.

With the preponderance of stories currently being pandered by the mass media involving extra-marital monkey business, the ideal of marriage is already ailing. And frankly, it is up to us to restore this feeble institution to everything it was originally intended to embody. Call me an optimist, but I a firmly believe the divorce rate will begin to decline with our generation. We are among the first to come of age in a society where it is not necessarily expected that we all find a spouse and settle down as quickly as possible. Nor is the suburban, 2.5 children, two-car garage life the right answer for everyone.

I would like to think that as we begin to couple off and disappear into the land of matrimony, we are doing so of our own volition. Hopefully, we have put responsible and logical thought into it. And since it will be a decision that is truly our own making, it would be nice to think that we will respect the parameters of that decision.

I do realize that I am currently standing on a pretty feeble soapbox, because I haven’t been married yet and I haven’t walked a mile in those shoes.

But when it comes down to it, all any of us really have is our word. The more we submit to the temptations of our dating world, the less meaning those little words “I do” will hold when we finally do find ourselves mumbling them.