Admissions Impossible?

By Tian Yang

I’m in a hurry to finish the UC application as the Dec. 30 deadline is quickly approaching. The application hasn’t been too difficult to fill out. The basic information, after filling out the common application, comes easily. But as easy as it is to fill in all that basic information, like my social security number or academic history, the “personal statement” has somewhat taken me by surprise.

As most people know, the UC application provides two prompts to respond to, maximum of 1,000 words each. Unfortunately they’re questions that I have encountered but never really thought about. I know what I want to convey in my essays, but I’m not really sure how to express it.

The first essay prompt:

“Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.”

My initial thoughts to this prompt were rather blank. After a brief period of anxiety over not being able to come up with an appropriate response, I just left it alone. I figured I’d come back to it later. I came back with a jumble of answers.

In my essay for this first prompt I want to tell admission officers about switching school districts right before I started high school or about my family background, being Chinese and all. However, I’m afraid I’ll start sounding cliche. I want to let them know the type of high school I attended, a school of over 4,000 students with a large Asian minority. I want to explain to them why I maybe didn’t get straight A’s or why I took classes that don’t necessarily have to do anything with my intended majors. But, I’m afraid I’ll start to sound rather whiny.

The second essay prompt I think was a bit easier for me to figure out what to answer.

“Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

This essay question reminds me of a lot of those short answer questions on generic scholarship applications, which works for me. I’ve filled out a couple of those, so I shouldn’t have had much difficulty. Yet, I am still feeling a bit worried. Do I put down something about the biggest academic award I’ve received or do I write about a not-so-recognized experience that was the most meaningful to me? I’m afraid to come across as rather pretentious and arrogant if I write about the former. Then again, I’m also afraid that the latter will make me look like I don’t necessarily have anything else to write about.

It’s all this guess work in trying to figure out what type of person admissions officers are looking for that I really don’t enjoy. I’m still trying to get myself to conform to the ideal applicant, but I’m afraid that in the process college won’t really get a picture of the real me. I suppose if I get in it won’t really matter, but I want to get accepted for being me. Then again not all colleges are looking for “me.”

Tian Yang is a senior at Carmel High School in Carmel, Ind.