Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Likewise, where there are TV sweeps, there are guest stars a plenty.

However, it has to come my attention, as an avid TV watcher, as well as someone who (regretfully) checks People magazine online multiple times a day, that shows today either use the guest star option to great success or great offense, and the latter should come to an immediate halt.

On one side of the argument are two of my top guilty pleasures, “Desperate Housewives” and “Gossip Girl.” “Desperate Housewives,” perennially one of the highest-rated shows, hardly needs big name cameos on top of its award-winning and constantly photographed cast. However, over the years, they’ve featured everyone from ’80s TV powerhouses like crazy Aunt Jackie from “Roseanne” and Southern dame Julia Sugarbaker of “Designing Women,” as well as big screen sirens such as Oscar nominees Alfre Woodward and more recently, Lily Tomlin. Rather than luring these knock-outs to simply play up their names in TV and print ads the week prior, “Housewives” (shockingly enough) actually gives them meaty roles to chew on and uses their characters to spice up storylines rather than to temporarily hike up ratings. The episode two seasons ago when Aunt Jackie, aka Laurie Metcalf, held Fairview’s grocery store hostage? Priceless!

Although only in its second season, “Gossip Girl” has already begun to catch on, mixing in multi-episode arcs for familiar faces such as Wallace Shawn (you know, like OMG, Mr. Hall from “Clueless?”) but also adding its own twist of kitsch and culturally-savvy with guest stars like designer Michael Kors, earlier this season, and singer Cyndi Lauper, earlier this week.

On the other end of the spectrum, unfortunately, is my beloved “30 Rock.”

Last season, the show mixed a couple goofy and ill-advised guest stints (David Schwimmer of “Friends”) with hilarious turns from Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) and Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick). It’s no secret that the show has yet to find the ratings to match its critical success thus far; however, with appearances from marquee names like Oprah Winfrey and Jennifer Aniston in its first handful of episodes this season, “30 Rock” is starting to resemble NBC’s old comedy staple “Will and Grace” in more ways than one.

Someone please stop Tina Fey and company before these guest star ploys for ratings and attention get out of hand. The one bone I’ll give to “30 Rock” is the reported multi-episode stint lined up for Jon Hamm of “Mad Men.” If they can do right by the one-and-only Don Draper, I’d gladly place my faith, and Thursday nights, back in their hands.

Even further over-stepping the boundaries of guest stars is “How I Met Your Mother.” Do I think this show is great? Yes! Underappreciated? Boy, let me tell you! But I don’t think this gives them the right to give Speidi (Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag of “The Hills”) more airtime than they already receive. With their recently-announced guest appearance, America’s most repulsive couple will appear this coming January. You know there’s something seriously awry when a show’s highest ratings in years come from a guest turn from a post-psych evaluation but pre-”Womanizer” Britney Spears moonlighting as a ditzy secretary.

So writers and producers, let’s put those Rolodexes away for the moment and save the best lines for cast members actually on the weekly payroll.

If you can name the “secret” guest-star currently on “The Office,” then e-mail Stanhope at kstanhope@media.ucla.edu for your special prize.