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America is rapidly abolishing many ethnic and racial limitations that once pervaded our society. For example, golf, once a sport enjoyed only by white men, is now dominated by Tiger Woods. On the other end of the spectrum, the once predominantly black arena of hip-hop is at present extolling the works of Eminem, a white kid out of Detroit.

Yet, in all of this ethnic groundbreaking and interracial group hugging, I’ve discovered a rather alarming exclusion. In the field of interracial dating, Asian males consistently get the short end of the stick or receive the largest proportion of the rhetorical shaft.

I feel cheated out of a myriad of romantic experiences that could have been brought to fruition were I not an Asian male.

Mine is not the ranting of a self-absorbed and embittered loner (although I have had a great deal of familiarity with these things). Nor am I a cultural sell-out by any means. I appreciate my ethnic heritage and the culture I was raised in. However, I cannot help but lament the poor condition the Asian American male faces in the game of love.

I liken the situation of Asian males in the interracial dating scene to the bracket system of the GRE. If you answer the first easy question of a section correctly, you get bumped up to a higher group with questions that are more difficult but worth more points. Conversely, answering the first question wrong will shift you to a lower bracket where the questions are easier, but alas are worth less points. 

Being an Asian male is like answering the first five questions on the GRE incorrectly; you’re not totally screwed, but you have a lot of ground to make up.

Unlike some of my black friends, who explained they have to downplay the stereotype of the hypersexual black male, Asian guys have an exact opposite, but no less burdensome cross to bear: the label of “un-manly” most frequently prescribed through the slur of penile abbreviation.

The reason behind this is that historically Asians have been invisible in American media, with a few stereotypical exceptions. As a whole, Asian males have either been portrayed as overbearing, or more frequently the opposite: effeminate and obsequious to white (and therefore better) men. Asian females, on the other hand, have been depicted as servile and ready to please. Sometimes they are given an image of exotic and dangerous sensuality, a sort of “Dragon Lady” aura.

I cannot begin to explain how dehumanizing these stereotypes are, but nevertheless they exist in abundance. And males of other ethnicities gulp those myths up, just as the females swallow without question the falsehood of Asian males being subservient and inferior to Occidental men. 

And do you know what infuriates me the most? It’s bad enough that my attempts to extend my romances outside of my race are thoroughly ridiculed. But to top that, many (no doubt), will attribute these failures to my lack of aesthetics, finances and penile length.

What I find is women from other ethnicities are not into my style, but to my great dismay, women who come from the same continent as me are being snatched up left and right by men who aren’t Asian. How unfair is that? A minimum of fair play would dictate that if I’m hampered by the media and society in pursuing an interracial relationship, I should at least be able to pursue Asian women.

I am not advocating a whole-scale commodification of Asian females, as if they are “mine” to divvy up and allocate along racial borders. I simply offer this argument to highlight the sheer absurdity of the situation.

I subscribe to you, reader, the notion of dating without the influence of the media or society. Most Asian women are not the servile, sexual objects the media makes them out to be, just as an astounding majority of Asian males are also not accurately portrayed. Yet, many people – Asian and otherwise – stubbornly adhere to these views.

You should date regardless of color, but do so because you’re truly attracted to a person’s individual characteristics. Don’t actively seek a person’s company because you feel that “her kind” is bred to serve you, just as you should not disregard someone because the media says that his penis is small (figure that one out on your own).

And from whatever branch of the world you come, if you come across a girl who likes long walks on the beach, sassy repartee and indulging in an occasional game of Tekken Tag Tournament, please note the above e-mail and introduce me.