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I write a column. You read it. That’s a natural connection to make.

San Francisco sells a list of the gay couples who got married there before the California Supreme Court halted the practice. Someone bad and evil buys it and uses it to instigate hate crimes against gay couples. That too is a natural connection to make.

Unfortunately, it seems the city of San Francisco was not intelligent enough to outsmart those sly, overly intelligent hate crime guys. That’s not a joke. Somehow, they really weren’t intelligent enough. There haven’t been any hate crimes connected with the list yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

Let’s get out one more example, just for kicks. So let’s say I create an invention whose only possible use is to make things ugly. Then I give this to someone who loves ugly things. Do I really have any right to be surprised at the ugly consequences of this tragedy?

If you’re still not following me, the answer is no. I have no right. But enough smoke and mirrors. Let me speak plainly.

According to Reuters, San Francisco is selling the list of the names of almost 4,000 gay couples married in February and March of this year. The list goes for chump change ($65). This could easily facilitate hate crimes or other unsavory acts directed against these couples. San Francisco, however, seems to be going out of its way to produce this list for whoever wants it.

Now we all know I hate to be fair, but I think I ought to. The city deserves its side of the story being told – it’s only fair, after all.

Like all civil marriages, gay marriages in San Francisco are public record. So anyone who wanted to could have gone in and copied the records by hand – and both of those geeks who actually would have gone in to make copies would have been universally shunned.

Mayor Gavin Newsom said he believes the city is selling this list at cost. He continued to claim it was doing a good deed for those who would otherwise spend hours copying the list by hand.

OK, so we can probably all agree that this isn’t the sort of scandalous illegal activity like the kind the news media loves to wrap its paws around.

But I think it’s fair to wonder where San Francisco left its rainbow-colored marbles.

After all, in a city known for its hospitality toward homosexuality, I would expect the mayor to be more sensitive to this community.

If the city goes out of its way to produce this list for anyone who wants it, it’s just asking for trouble with a “pretty please with a cherry on top.”

It seems unlikely that they would bother to produce a list of heterosexual marriages performed during the same time if anyone asked.

Oh well. I harbor no ill will toward the straight, so I have no real need for such a list anyway.

Now, a lot of columns spend a lot of time complaining, as if as soon as columnists are hired they immediately discover that they are bitter, ranting human beings. But today I want to do more.

I not only want to complain about the tribulations that infest our world, but also to offer the solution. In a rare show of incredible creativity and intelligence, I have come up with the end-all and be-all of solutions to this problem.

The city should stop selling the list.

But that’s just my humble opinion. And call it a shot in the dark, but I think maybe a few other people out there feel that aiding in the possible spread of hate in the world is a no-no.

So, Mr. Mayor, my flunkies and I have a few words for you. We think selling hate is a no-no. It’s time to step up, outsmart those overly intelligent hate crime guys, and save the world.

At the same time, you would validate all the time I spent writing this. Thanks.

Schenck is a first-year undeclared student. E-mail him at jschenck@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.