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I know why people throw Super Bowl parties. It is for the same reason winter is considered an extremely depressing season. This is the season when, toward the end of January (or early February this year), the world of sports goes into hibernation.

The season is so dull that people start going crazy. They absolutely lose it once the commercials that debuted on Super Bowl Sunday are shown more than once during commercial breaks of the Clippers v. Hawks game one week later.

Charles Dickens is more exciting than the sports on television once the Super Bowl ends. Some folks would rather go to lecture than watch NBA games, and it gets really bad when hockey becomes something we watch for more than the 0.5 seconds it takes the digital cable to respond to the remote.

Clothing designers are affected, deciding to mix ridiculous combinations of garb to fill the void left by baseball and football. How do you think the mini-skirt and Ugg Boots ensemble took off? 

With no baseball, no college football, and no professional football, what is a fan to do? I don’t have all the answers, but merely some suggestions of how to stay occupied during this sporting drought, sports fans.

1. Get a large group of people together. Have someone write a number between one and 100 on a piece of paper, put the piece of paper in a paper bag, and close the bag. Then have each member of the group say a number between one and 100, recording who picked each number. Finally, reveal the original number. The person closest to the number wins. (Abide by “The Price is Right” rules: If you go over, you are disqualified.)

The winner then selects one person to drink a few shots of vodka, eat a large helping of borscht, drape the flag of the former Soviet Union across his or her body, and accompany the entire group to a crowded movie theater. As a group, watch Disney’s “Miracle,” a movie about the improbable U.S. hockey victory over Russia in the 1980 Olympics. When the movie ends, the chosen one must stand up and scream, “It was fixed! It was a fix! Long live communism!!!”

2. Make like Desmon Farmer and attend a USC home basketball game. Who cares if the Trojans aren’t playing UCLA? Desmon didn’t seem to mind rearing his ugly head when we played Michigan State in Pauley Pavilion. I know I’m not the only one who saw him dancing around like a fool. This would be an especially fun activity to do if you are either a.) Rodney Leisle, b.) big and scary like Rodney Leisle, or c.) small and skinny but have big and scary friends (like Rodney Leisle) to accompany you.

3. Camp out for the Feb. 7 basketball game against Washington. Usually people do not camp out for the Washington St. or Washington games. However, since the Washington game is on a Saturday, UCLA officials will think you are camping out for Thursday night’s game against Washington St. And while they may not be pleased they showed up at Pauley Pavilion at 6 a.m. intending to give you a priority pass to Thursday’s game, you know deep down they will be impressed by your dedication to the team.

4. Here’s one from a buddy – I’m not mean enough to think of this. Go to a UCLA home basketball game. Since you are at a game, you may as well get involved.

Buy a bag of M&M’s and wait until a yell leader sets up in front of your section. When he or she raises the bullhorn to lead a cheer, take aim and let fire.

Let me make something clear: Do not throw M&M’s at the yell leaders. Instead, turn his or her bullhorn into a basket and shoot. Create your own three-point shooting competition.

First one to make seven M&M’s in the bullhorn wins, blue M&M’s are worth double (money ball).

E-mail Karon your boredom busters at ekaron@media.ucla.edu.