There’s something about dorm life that just breeds competition.
Sure, it always starts out nice. The new freshmen arrive, they move in their stuff, and everyone is happy and optimistic. It’s nothing but blue skies and friendly smiles in the land of on-campus living.
But for those of us who have lived beyond our freshmen year, we’ve all learned the harsh reality that dorm life really is.
The most simple rule? Friends don’t stay friends forever. By the time the end of the year rolls around, there’s been more cat fighting and drunken name-calling than the average episode of “Real World San Diego.”
Maybe it’s the close quarters living arrangement. Maybe it’s the constant competitions for “best floor.” Or maybe it’s the lingering high school pressure to outdo your peers for the sake of your future success.
Whatever it is, there’s no denying the fact that having the upper hand on the rest of your floor-mates is a satisfying feeling.
Despite all the bickering and rumbles that might go down in the dorms, there are always a few people who manage to escape untouched by all the drama. For these select few, they move on not only with fewer cuts, scrapes and bruises but looking a heck of a lot cooler than the rest of us.
So while it might seem easy, earning the respect and admiration of your peers is a lot more difficult than you might imagine.
Some people accomplish this through charm, flirtation and even general kindness. But for me during my freshman year, rising to the ranks of the unofficial “King of the Floor” took more than just my stunning good looks and razor-sharp wit.
So what’s my secret?
Owning cooler stuff than the rest of them.
With my PlayStation 2, fully equipped stereo system and even a Nano Pet, I was more fully stocked than the local RadioShack. My dorm room became the local hangout.
Guys would spend hours in my room playing Grand Theft Auto, huddled on the tiny single bed we converted into a couch. Girls would love to stop by and dance to our extensive MP3 collection, watching themselves glow under the high-tech black light that turned our cramped dorm room into a non-stop party.
But video games and digital animal keychains are not what’s going to make you the coolest kid on your dorm block this year.
So what’s this year’s secret to climbing the dorm social chain?
One word: TiVo. Yeah, I said it.
For most people, this digital recording device of the future is nothing more than a replacement for that whole VCR thing that only your grandma uses to tape “Murder, She Wrote,” not to mention a way to completely waste your time. In case you live in a bubble, or you are, in fact, grandma, the workings of TiVo go a little something like this.
Instead of having to manually input every television show you want to tape, TiVo automatically detects your favorite preset channels and shows and digitally records them for you to watch at your own convenience. And even better, you can fast forward through all the commercials.
Why be known as “that TiVo guy” to all your fellow dorm friends? The reasons are endless.
Tired of having to ditch class so you can watch “Passions”? With TiVo, you don’t have to.
Want to get a good grade in your biology class but too lazy to study? Use your newly acquired TiVo powers as leverage by taping the smart girl’s favorite show in exchange for a few “study notes.”
So instead of living “Real World San Diego,” invite your floor buddies over to watch it. And maybe you’ll be able to look back on your days as a freshman with a little more optimism than most.
Scott still owns a Nano Pet.
E-mail him at jscott@media.ucla.edu.