For this week, I’d like to tackle a question that’s often on my mind regarding dating: Does size really matter?
Stop, I know what you’re thinking. Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about a person’s height – not the length of a certain body part.
We all know the stereotype. The man in a heterosexual relationship is supposed to be taller than his female counterpart so that he can provide protection by appearing stronger and can prove his usefulness by reaching items on a top shelf for women who are helpless without a man to retrieve them for her. The height makes for a good dancing or kissing partner. Plus “it just looks right,” society argues.
But does it really look wrong the other way around?
We’ve all heard tall girls whine about how it’s so tough to find datable guys because many are shorter than them. Many swear it would be too much of a blow to the wardrobe to neglect their beloved heels or platforms in favor of maintaining inferior height to their significant other.
You don’t even have to be tall to sweat the height factor. I’m all of 5 feet, 4 inches, and I’ve still managed to date one guy who reaches 5 feet, 2 inches, and another who barely hit the 5 foot, 4.5 inch-mark. Even then, with my hair up in a ponytail or a bun, it was questionable as to who was taller.
I too was guilty of searching out flat dress shoes and shelving my platforms in order to accompany my boyfriend’s short stature without towering over him.
I sometimes slouched in pictures, joked about me being taller than him, and missed tall shoes. And I don’t even enjoy wearing heels.
Semi-awkwardness aside, the height closeness really didn’t matter, nor should it. But regardless of whether height should play into how a guy measures up as boyfriend material, we all know that it does.
To attest to the scarcity of girls dating guys shorter than them, it took me two weeks to find examples of those who broke the stereotype.
I’ve finally found two couples who break the mold – and are proud of it.
Firstly, there’s fourth-year psychology student Katie Yang who, at 5 feet, 11 inches, stands by her choice to date her boyfriend who is approximately 5 feet, 9 inches.
Though Yang says she “used to never even look at someone shorter,” she currently has no problem with the discrepancy. Yang said the two of them crack jokes about the height difference, but he doesn’t care. “He told me he likes taller girls,” she said.
Yang says she doesn’t notice the height difference so much because he’s more muscular. Even if the height reversal breaks stereotypes, the social norm of the man as protector is still apparent in Yang’s assessment of her tastes.
“I can’t be with a tiny guy,” she said.
So is it a big deal then, when the girl is medium height and the guy isn’t quite?
According to second-year art history student Andrea Lounibos, height doesn’t matter when you’re 5 feet, 5 inches, and dating a guy who’s three inches shorter.
“I definitely would have pictured myself with someone taller than me because it’s such a stereotype. Since I’m not that tall I don’t meet many guys who are shorter than me,” Lounibos said.
“I was really conscious of it, I tried to wear lower heels, but I’m taller than him without shoes, so eventually it didn’t matter, I just went ahead and wore heels,” Lounibos said, commenting on the relationship’s minimal effect on her footwear choice.
And while height really doesn’t matter when measuring a partner’s qualities, if you feel uncomfortable with the person because of it, or are not attracted to someone on basis of height, I can’t force you to overlook that.
Instead, I urge you to let the ruler be and throw away the rules on who’s supposed to be taller than whom. Short guys: Stand short and stand proud, but never let height stand in the way of being comfortable approaching or dating taller girls. And girls: Give the heels a rest and let go of height reservations. Humans are not rollercoasters with height requirements.
After all, height really doesn’t matter when you’re lying down.
Bonos is the 2003-2004 copy chief. She’s afraid of scary movies, but go ahead and e-mail her your horror stories at lbonos@media.ucla.edu.