Dating co-workers is tricky business
Being in a relationship generally requires a lot of effort – you have to balance your schedules, make sure you don’t neglect your friends, and occasionally resolve disputes and miscommunications.
And trust me, it gets a little harder when you work with the person.
One of the rules of attraction taught in Comm. 10 is proximity: You’re likely to want to become closer with those you’re spatially close to. So it’s understandable to develop a crush on a floormate, a friend or a co-worker.
And simply because many campus jobs lead to friendships and expanded social circles, intra-office dating is a likely off-shoot of hanging out after hours with mutual co-worker friends.
There’s something about working closely with colleagues toward a goal, even a menial task, that can bring you together. Mutual excitement, boredom and routine can serve as some of the most effective human bonding agents – and these are often found in the workplace.
But just because the attraction is easily facilitated by space doesn’t mean a flawless relationship is next in line.
Attraction is the easy part – maintaining a professional relationship with a significant other requires more thought and can become a concern to other co-workers.
Michael Brown, a fifth-year music history student, works at the UCLA Store and is currently dating a co-worker who is also one of his bosses. They met through mutual friends who worked at the store, and when they started dating, Brown said their supervisor OK’d the relationship “as long as there were no cat fights or making out on the floor.”
And really, that’s what it comes down to – restraining yourselves from public displays of affection and not letting personal arguments bleed into your working relationship.
Having been in two serious relationships with two different co-workers, I can honestly tell you it’s a horrible and a wonderful idea.
Horrible if you break up, wonderful if you don’t – and you never know which side you’ll be on in the end.
The possibility of a bad ending isn’t a good reason not to date, but it is a reason for serious thought. Like any business decision, doing a cost-benefit analysis can help you decide whether to merge or remain separate.
And the benefits are numerous – work becomes more fun if it means getting to see your sweetie, and having to put in extra hours is generally more well-received.
The challenge of maintaining a professional relationship within a romantic relationship may seem difficult, but the hardest part is remaining civil after the breakup – a scenario you have to consider before you date a co-worker.
And no matter how much you think it over and promise to each other that, yeah, you could work together even if the romance doesn’t, you never can anticipate the aftermath of a breakup.
For example, after one failed relationship that made me dread going to work because I didn’t want to see my ex, I vowed never to date a co-worker ever again. I was even a vocal opponent of intra-office dating and cautioned others against it.
Until a year later, when I broke that promise to myself and realized relationship success depends more on the people involved than the workplace.
Bonos is the 2004-2005 managing editor. E-mail her at lbonos@media.ucla.edu if you have a crush on your boss, TA or professor.


