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In this bastion of higher learning and high-minded intellectualism, there exists among the future generation of this country a wide, hilarious streak of anti-intellectualism. It creeps its way to the surface with the preface of “um, like, you know” in the sentences of our after-class socializing, which are usually finished evermore with the post-Gen X trademark 21st-century watchwords “or, whatever.”

This unspoken phenomenon can be witnessed in its full documented glory within the safe confines of that campus social underworld of the UCLA online forums.

First, a disclaimer: I tripped upon this golden nugget of neglected urban culture totally serendipitously. That is, I’m not a dork (well, yes I am, but not a computer dork). In preparation for my next column on the counter-inaugural protest, I had logged onto the forums to see what the buzz was within the campus community.

There are many forums to choose from, but my favorite so far (and with nearly 20,000 views, one the most popular corners of the forum world) has to be a thread launched about a year ago by a student who identifies himself by the brilliant Simpsonsian nom de plume “Homercles.”

Homercles, whose hobbies include “sleeping, watching TV, launching kick-ass paper airplanes, and The Devil’s Dictionary,” began the thread as an advice forum for UCLA freshmen.

This noble mission quickly stumbled into some uproarious problems that are very revealing about our student culture. First, to make it appealing, the subject heading had to be cynical – “Incoming Freshmen, Ask Asshole Homer Your Academic Questions Here.” Then, when the questions came, true to his mission, Homercles had to reject non-freshmen.

Question: “Yeah, asshole Homer, where can I find the Commies? Is it true that the streets at UCLA are paved with gold? The human sacrifices at the frats?”

Answer: “You’re not an incoming freshman find another asshole to ask your questions to.”

Homercles then followed this up with: “Is there not ONE incoming frosh out there that has ANY question? Anything? Anything at all? Your car’s making a weird noise? Ask away.”

This is just one microscopic example. As you can see, there is a lot of cursing and sarcasm, but that’s the language most of us speak in private. And it is exactly the anonymity the forum provides for students that allows their true identities to be liberated. Paradoxically, their true identities are revealed as inflated super-alter-egos with awesome names like Homercles.

And the characters most people choose to take on are, not surprisingly, anti-intellectual.

A good example of this is the quote people choose to display below their responses.

It’s usually not poetry, or the famous words of the historic icons we learn about. If it is from a historic figure, the quote is about drinking.

For instance, Eccentric, who chose Dilbert to be his picture ID, uses “Venimus, vidimus, dolavimus” (we came, we saw, we hacked). MaggieMay, using a South Park picture ID, has “Screw you guys. I’m going home,” whereas Jawlz, using an old-fashioned black-and-white picture of a man with a magnificent mustache has this: “Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.”

I’m not saying this is a bad thing. In fact, I think the quotes and the alter-egos are brilliant and quite funny. It also makes sense that the natural response of children growing up in a heavily intellectual environment is to privately rebel against it by masquerading in the pop culture costumes of characters that represent the antithesis of learning.

These are the fullest expressions of that instinct to tag a “whatever” at the end of a sentence. It’s like our brain is trying to prevent us from totally becoming our parents while stuck in a time and place designated to make us exactly that.

The redeeming aspect of the Homercles thread, and most of the forums I’ve seen, is that in between the cursing, junior high toilet jokes and endless references to sex and drinking, real conversations take place. Homercles actually gives sound advice on early enrollment, housing on campus, workload and confusion about what major to pick.

So, in the spirit of Homercles, my advice to you is to check out the forum, create a super-alter-ego, get a hilarious quote, crack unruly jokes and maybe even learn something in the exchange, or whatever.

Look for Lukacs’ special Friday column directly from the trenches of the counter-inaugural protest. If you want to meet up in D.C. to toast the president or his downfall, e-mail Lukacs at olukacs@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.