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Jennifer Partnoff, a fifth-year history and women’s studies student, came out to her religi

“Mom, I have a girlfriend,” Jennifer Partnoff recalls telling her mom two years ago.

Her mother responded, “You do know what it says in the Bible, don’t you? You are sinning Jennifer.”

Partnoff’s mother died about a year and a half later, after having eventually come to terms with her daughter’s sexual orientation.

Sex and relationships often concern maturing teens, but having to bear coming out leaves some members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community feeling more in the dark and ready to keep their identity on the hanger rather than come out of the closet.

The night 20-year-old Partnoff, now 22, came out to her mother, she remembers feeling calm.

“I knew when I was going over there that I was going to tell her, so I was ready. I wasn’t very nervous,” said Partnoff, a fifth-year history and women’s studies student.

But all the preparations Partnoff could have done would not stop her mother from reacting less than welcoming to the news.

Though “it still hurt a lot,” Partnoff said she expected the response to be disapproving because she comes from a very religious family.

She said the mother-daughter relationship they shared changed immediately after her announcement.

While Partnoff’s mother encouraged her to read the Bible more often and become more involved with church activities, she found herself changing her interpretation of religion and the scriptures altogether.

On one occasion, Partnoff remembers her mother approaching her with a friend from church. The friend was a lesbian but had become heterosexual through deeper religious studies.

“She came to talk to me because she was ex-lesbian or whatever, and maybe to try to convince me. But I could tell from her voice and tone that she wasn’t happy,” Partnoff said.

Partnoff is not the only one presented with the option of seeking religious guidance in order to turn away from homosexuality.

It is common for those initially told of a loved one’s homosexuality to recommend more involvement within a religion, Partnoff said.

“It is because (others) view it as a sin,” Partnoff said.

And indeed others do.

Exodus, a nonprofit, interdenominational Christian organization, promotes the “message of freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ,” according to its Web site.

Exodus calls homosexuality an “invalid orientation.”

And with such existing organizations and beliefs, fear of rejection can be one of the largest barriers to coming out, said Ronni Sanlo, director of the UCLA LGBT Resource Center.

“It’s all a personal journey,” Sanlo said. “It is different for everybody. For some it’s easy and for others it’s hard.”

“For college students in particular, it is telling their family that is the hardest part. We have people here in the LGBT center that (those having a hard time coming out) can talk to about coming out to their parents and friends,” Sanlo said.

Partnoff said fear of rejection from friends and family had kept her from coming out earlier.

“I came out to two people I was close to when I was 16 years old, but I didn’t tell anyone else,” Partnoff said. “That was it and I kept it to myself for three years.”

Today, Partnoff is involved with the campus LGBT center and is a student activist for LGBT equality issues. But she still carries with her the burden of coming out to her father and stepmother.

“My (biological) mother passed away, and even though she never really approved of my sexual orientation, she still loved me,” Partnoff said.

Partnoff is still wary of coming out and is selective about who she comes out to, but slowly the closet doors have crept open for Partnoff as she leaves the darker years of keeping to herself behind.